What to Say or Do for Someone Who is Sad or Grieving
What do you say or do when someone you know is sad or grieving? What are the right words to someone suffering loss or pain? What meaningful sympathy gift can you offer or send to comfort or console the bereaved? How do you acknowledge their grief with love and support?
Words as Tools to Comfort, Console and Acknowledge Grief and Sorrow
For the most part, words are tools for acknowledging another’s grief or sorrow. But most often, just listening, holding another’s hand, or simply providing one’s quiet presence and company are the best forms of support and comfort.
“He knew a simple truth: there was never anything healing one could say. One could only be. The best friend in such times were those who had no agenda other than to be present, to offer themselves. [And so] he tendered himself silently.” Abraham Verghese, The Covenant of Water
But when we must use words, sometimes the best thing to say to someone who is sad or grieving is simply:
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this”
“I’m so sorry for your loss”
“I can’t know how you feel, but I’m here for you.”
These simple words--expressing sympathy and acknowledging another’s pain-- validate their feelings and provide a sense of comfort. The bereaved feels someone understands, and therefore does not feel so alone.
Word and Message Gifts for Those in Grief
The Written Word as Sympathy, Bereavement and Memorial Gifts
When you can’t be present, sending a meaningful and thoughtful sympathy or support gift is a matter of intention and discernment. Because flowers are temporary and wilt, often times a carefully selected, beautiful card with your handwritten, heartfelt message can provide a world of meaning.
For daily and ongoing support, perhaps consider customized or personalized jewelry engraved with an encouraging word or phrase, a departed one's initials, a special date, a bible passage, or a spiritual sentiment.
Word Bracelets that Embrace Your Loved One Daily
Higher Calling Bracelets created word and phrase bracelets just for this occasion. Designed as meaningful, tangible and tactile gifts of support, and using lasting, high quality materials, they can be worn for daily comfort. A tap at the wrist serves as an ever-present reminder of a dearly departed, a hopeful, positive thought, or the ever-present friendship of the one who sent the bracelet. Made from high quality sterling silver, 14k gold-fill and/or authentic gemstones, these memorial bracelets will endure the test of time and daily wear. They can be personalized and customized with silver, gold or colored gemstones, and are beautifully packaged and presented so that the recipient feels deeply considered and embraced.
Other Top Sympathy Gift Ideas Besides Flowers
Personalized, Customized Memorial Items Make or commission a memory quilt or collage with special photos, or enclose a special memorial photo in a beautifully engraved frame with initials, name(s) or dates. There are also many frames on the market that offer looping digital photos or customized, framed art from videos.
Comforting Books Books on grief and healing can offer valuable insights and perspectives, providing comfort and guidance to those navigating the grieving process. Soothing, uplifting books in the genres of spirituality and religion can also provide hope and a more peaceful outlook on life in the future.
A Special Piece of Art that Soothes and Comforts A small piece of art need not be terribly expensive, yet can be enormously uplifting, calling to mind hope, peace and brighter days ahead. Consider a small piece of art depicting colorful subjects, nature themes or landscapes, animals, exotic lands or a cheerful piece of sky.
Self-Care Items Luxury bath products soothe the body, and fragrance is known to lift one’s mood. Encourage self-care and relaxation with thoughtful gifts such as
Acts of Service, Gifts of Service One who is sad or grieving can often feel frozen and unable to complete normal, every day tasks. Offer practical assistance such as preparing meals, running errands, dealing with paperwork and bills, or helping with household chores help alleviate some of the burdens of daily life during a challenging time. Even if you are not able to offer your personal time or energy, consider a gift card for cleaning services or meal deliveries from a favorite restaurant.
Of course, the most important thing is to be present and listen (even if from afar) and let the sad or grieving know that they're not alone in their pain. It’s a world that is imperfect, with no guarantees; we can simply do our best to help navigate another’s grief journey with grace, compassion, and love.
